Acuity Scheduling · Dec 5th 2018
Country of Origin: USA
Age: 11 (Kids grow up so fast these days, don’t they?)
Eye Color: Hazel
Hair Color: Blue
Personality: Friendly. Cool. Down to earth. Kind of like if Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper started a software company, and then got their nerd on.
Likes: Espresso. Memes & GIFs. The TV show Arrested Development. Eating Human Food. (As long as it doesn’t have too much fiber.)
Dislikes: Crotchety curmudgeons. Cucumbers pickled (but love everything else pickled), and having to use the phone *cringes with disgust* to make dinner reservations for eating food without too much fiber.
Looking For: Long-term relationship with warm, non-robotic person in search of a customer centric career working remotely with a rad online scheduling SAAS company. Must love dogs. (Kidding, there are no dogs.)
A̶r̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶s̶o̶u̶l̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶b̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶s̶e̶a̶r̶c̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶?̶
̶D̶o̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶l̶o̶n̶g̶ ̶w̶a̶l̶k̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶a̶c̶h̶?̶
̶H̶e̶y̶,̶ ̶c̶h̶e̶c̶k̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶m̶u̶s̶c̶l̶e̶s̶!̶
Hey there! The name’s Acuity Scheduling, but my friend call me Cutie. I’m an online scheduling tech company, and I’m 11 years old. But that’s, like, 150 years in the software company world.
People around the globe use me to make their lives a little easier, and the lovely humans supporting them are spread out all the way from Hawaii to Australia. Where’s Acuity HQ, you ask? Your heart, I say. (Or house. Or favorite coffee shop. Or maybe even a dragon lair?)
Anyways. While I don’t usually do this sort of thing, I figured it was time to “put myself out there” and see if, just maybe, the right person might be reading on the other side of the screen.
Where to begin? Well, for starters, I help small and medium sized businesses keep their schedules organized. It’s a great gig, and I like when people tell me how much they love me. Though I am always sad when, at the end of the day, they abandon me (my log-out button is my least favorite physical feature) and go on to do things they tell me humans do, like go to happy hour and play with these things called “the kids.”
My dad, Gavin, is great. He built me from scratch a decade ago (which means I’m officially in the double digits!). They tell me he’s a wonderful boss to work for, and that’s where you come in.
We need another human to come work with us, in order to help even MORE humans. (You all are everywhere.)
You see, while I’m very useful to your kind (especially what you refer to as “business owners”), sometimes people can be confused by my buttons, bells and whistles. I love to whistle.
So, my dad decided to get together some other smart humans to help out. Before long, though, there was so much to do! Humans are very limited in their processing capacity, you know. So my dad hired some more humans. And then some more. Because apparently I am growing at the – how do you call it? speed of light? – so while my dad is very happy, it also means we need even more hands.
Not just any old hands, of course. And not just any old human. We’re looking for a very special human–one who loves to dig in, solve problems, be on a team, laugh together, hustle together, and want a long term relationship with me. (Sorry my dad taught me early on that one night stands are bad.)
And guess what? The best part is that you don’t even need to live where I do, you can live anywhere (well, within the United States!). Cool, right? My sister, the internet, has made life quite convenient for your race. I’m very proud of her.
Well, that’s enough about me. I talk too much, sometimes. But usually only when my sister is being a pain. We have a love/hate relationship.
Anyway, is this you? Could you be my new soul mate?
PS — We love all humans and hope you do, too. Acuity Scheduling is committed to being an Equal Opportunity Employer and we’re looking for amazing people regardless of age, sex, gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation, disability status, size, appearance, race, spiritual or religious beliefs, veteran status, ethnicity, and nationality. Good vibes required.
Do you think you might be THE ONE?
Now accepting love letters. We’ll let you decide what to write! (Bonus points for food-related puns.)